Growing old?!

YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING OLD WHEN …

“Getting a little action” means you don’t need to take a laxative.
Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
All of your favorite movies are now re-released in color.
At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
Conversations with people your own age often turn into “dueling ailments.”
Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
It takes twice as long to look half as good.
It’s harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
No one expects you to run into a burning building.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac

For more check out here.

Birthday’s have always been fun time but at the same time reminds us of getting old. Some love the hair turn grey while some dread it. Well, no arguing about getting old is good or bad. Enjoy and have fun with a few birthday jokes below. Found them while surfing…

Joke#1

“Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and it said that I needed an upgrade.”

Joke# 2

An eminent old man was being interviewed, and was asked if it was correct that he had just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday.
`That’s right,’ said the old man. `Ninety-nine years old, and I haven’t an enemy in the world. They’re all dead.’
`Well, sir,’ said the interviewer, `I hope very much to have the honour of interviewing you on your hundredth birthday.’
The old man looked at the young man closely, and said, `I can’t see why you shouldn’t. You look fit and healthy to me!’

Joke# 3

Will you come to my party on Saturday?
Yes, please, What’s the address?
25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow.
Why with my elbow?
Well, you won’t be empty-handed, will you!

Joke# 4

It was Grandpa Jones’ 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit. He explained “I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. I’ve been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years.” “How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?” we asked. “It’s simple” he said. “When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk.”

- Shephali

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Art on display

My friend sent me this amazing piece of art! Deserves an applause!

- Shephali

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Funny engineers

Jokes about engineers?! Well I have heard a lot about them but didn’t come across this one that my father-in-law posted on his blog yesterday.

Once, four engineer friends were traveling in a car. Almost halfway to their destination, the car…

- Shephali

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Relieved of Telemarketing?

I remember there was a time when I was tired of taking calls from telemarketers. There would be different kinds of “them”. Some would wait for you to respond after their two lines of introduction. Some would just not pause without completing their memorized lines. Others would ebb away their voice as soon as you said, ” sorry” or “next time please”. When I came to this country (USA), I was given a hint by my well-wishers that if I want to live in peace and I was busy I needn’t entertain a telemarketer. So, I would most of the time say, “it isn’t a good time” and avoid them. The fact is it wasn’t a good time, ’cause I would be in my preparatory period for taking some examinations. But never in my wildest dreams I thought of getting confronted by one of them.

My story, a true incident, goes to the time when The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) was about to take some plan of actions for reducing this “nuisance”. Being a homemaker and studying at the same time I would keep away the telemarketing calls by saying a quick polite, “no”. One fine day, as usual my eyes were glaring my books, when a phone ring disrupted my whole schedule for the day. The conversation was with a telemarketer of a renowned newspaper group of Bay area. (Not mentioning the name for obvious reasons).

So it started like this…

He starts the usual way…”I am from blah blah blah…”
I snap in between - “please, I am sorry but I am busy now.”
He retorts, “So if you are busy, why did you pick up the phone?”
I thought I heard something wrong, ” Sorry, come again!”
He answers back, “ If you are busy why did you pick up the phone?”
I was taken aback, never had ever heard something like this before.
I replied, “err…I thought it would be urgent”.
His voice is gets louder, “so how did you think this wasn’t urgent?”
I dropped my timidness, “well, I know it is not urgent.”
He was now uncontrollable, ” so HOW HOW?!”
Well I was aghast, how could someone speak to me like this?
A question struck me in a lightening speed, “Can you tell me your name?”
He goes… “What…what?”
“Your name sir, I need your name…“
“My name…err…umm… what will you do with my name…?”, came the voice, a little shaken this time.

Fortunately or unfortunately some call was coming. I switched over to the other line to get a word of advice from whoever it was. It turned out to be a friend of mine. After keeping her on the hold, I switched over the flash button on my phone with all the fire in my eyes and the blood running up my veins…the result was a silence. Probably the man on the other side thought I had ended the conversation or may be he realized I was also canny. I really don’t know where and how long those strings of dialogue would have continued if not for that interruption. I was infuriated and upset about the incident. On the advice of my brother-in-law I called the supervisor of the Newspaper. After my narration of the incident there was an apology and a promise, not to be harassed in future again. Well, the calls from that particular newspaper did stop but the saga of telemarketing continued till the FTC came into action.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) launched the National Do Not Call Registry to give Americans a choice about getting telemarketing calls at home. According to a recent Harris Interactive poll, 92 percent of people who reported placing a number on the registry said they are receiving fewer calls; a total of 78 percent said they’re getting “far fewer calls” or none at all. (Do Not Call)

Well, that looks true in my case too. I am getting no telemarketing calls. Thanks to FTC. We signed up at the National Do Not Call Registry. If it wouldn’t have been their plan of stopping those calls I don’t know how I would have been managing my time and work, especially with my baby. Relieved…? yes, I would say so!

- Shephali

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Amusing Oxymorons!

It is fun to read oxymorons, which are self-contradicting phrase. Appropriately, the word oxymoron is itself oxymoronic because it is formed from two Greek roots of opposite meaning, oxys “sharp, keen,” and moros “foolish,” the same root that gives us the word moron.

Do we realize, how many of these we use in our daily talk?
Here is an example of a small conversation between a man and a woman using oxymorons while talking.

The oxymorons are in italics.

W: Hi Andy, You look pretty ugly!
M: Yes, I am a living dead.
W: Good grief! What happened?
M: My bag is found missing. It had an original copy of my work permit and my proof of being a resident alien.
W: Can you tell me almost exactly when did it happen? Did you note down the taxi nameplate?
M: I think I left it in the taxi and I don’t remember the Taxi number. I acted like a perfect idiot. People will find my true story to be seriously funny. For me this may turn into a rolling stop to my carrier.
W: Well don’t tell the boss now. Act naturally until you file a lost and found complaint at the police station.
M: Well they don’t go by random order. It may take days. I might actually find it difficult to maintain my job in Microsoft Works.;)
W: You got to be still moving. A constant change in life is good. Why don’t you try a job with your Political Science background? You were second best in your school.
M: Thanks for the advice. I’ll try during my working vacation. But I think it will be an open secret when I will be officially probed about my documents. Anyway, what I need now is a wholesome meal. I have a bad headache.

Amusing- isn’t it?

- Shephali

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Flat surface?

A laptop abandoned?! Oh no, this is a drawing. As it can be seen, that this piece of drawing is on the sidewalk, so obviously it is on a flat surface! Well, a friend of mine sent this picture to me. It is unbelievable and amazing piece of art!

- Shephali

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